Hey, everyone…it’s Personality Thursday again and today we are going to talk about “The Back Stabber”
How to deal with a back stabber
In case you missed it, I also published a related article on envy.
There are a lot of reasons that some one would want to subversively sabotage you. It generally deals with someone who has a competitive or vengeful spirit. Sometimes, though, the back stabber just doesn’t want anyone to be happy.
Unlike the confrontational personality, the backstabber needs darkness in which to work. They can’t stand to work in the light for one of two reasons:
a. They fear exposure or
b. They can’t afford exposure.
If someone is backstabbing you for the second reason, their image may be at stake. It could be that they couldn’t care less if you know that they don’t like you, but their position prevents them from being “all out” with their distaste for you.
An example of this would be someone who wants the boss to choose them for a promotion. If they were overtly hostile to you, and openly attacked you, it would make them look bad. Instead, they may do things like
make innuendos behind your back to their superiors. They may say something like, “Shirl is a great worker. I kind of wonder, though, about her mental health…she seems really depressed since her divorce”. Or, more commonly, they may even privately accuse you to those in charge, but always in an underhanded, virtuous tone.
“Shirl really has a full load. I don’t know how she manages to tie all of those loose ends together at the end of they day. She sure seems frazzled lately.”
Statements like these make your rival seem compassionate, while making you seem incompetent.
Next Thursday, we are going to talk about people who back stab out of fear, and Passive Agression.
Tune in next Thursday and find out how they tick! Leave a comment