One thing that some people engage in is what I call “signal crossing” and if you don’t know what it is, it can make you think you are losing your mind. Just what is a “signal crosser?”
“A signal crosser is someone who acts one way and dialogues another”.
One example of this would be, going to dinner with someone who tells you to eat whatever you want. Then after dinner, they say, “are you sure you don’t want desert?” when the waitress comes to the table.
This person is giving you mixed signals; they say that they want you to feel free to eat hearty, but then they kind of take it back.
The reason people do this is because”
“Signal Crossers have trouble being direct”.
They fear rejection, or not being thought well of, so they give their intentions through signals, rather than through direct dialoging.
Now sometimes, signals are good things and not necessarily diversionary tactics. Some people do the “I’m not saying, I’m just saying” deal, when they are trying to be polite.
For example, if you go to someone’s house, and after about an hour of fellowship they say something like, “well, I’ll let you get back to your family”, then you know that they are politely saying it’s time for them to let you go.
That’s not the same as giving MIXED signals.
Mixed signals happen when someone wants you to vocalize what they want you to do, while they act like they don’t really want that.
It’s really called passive aggression.
You can read more about that here.
Hey, have you ever been the recipient of mixed signals? Or maybe you just have a tendency to give mixed signals.
Either way, I’d love to hear all about it.