The Fruitless Act of Beating Yourself Up.


Reader, have you ever begun the day by pouring over everything you forgot to do, failed to do, or failed at doing?
It’s so easy for us to focus on things left undone, or done poorly but the truth is, none of that mindset is helpful.

In psychology, they say you gravitate toward things that give you pleasure. For example, if you are really good at something, or if you really enjoy something, you will focus most of your attention there. I call it your sweet spot
…that place you go to for comfort whether it’s icecream or Facebook.

But your sweet spot isn’t always just a place that makes you feel good. Sometimes it’s a place of accomplishment…
an action that you can easily check off your list. Even if it’s not the most important thing on the list, at least it’s doable, and “done” feels so good. This is why so many people spend their life on easily completed tasks, or video games, because they get an immediate rush of accomplishment–eveb if it’s just scoring on “candy crush”.

And lot’s of time, your sweet spot is is just a place that gives you a sense of fulfillment. There’s nothing wrong with that. But here’s the deal…
if you don’t feel that sense of pleasure, fulfillment or accomplishment, you will most likely avoid that task or duty which is most important.

Most of our tasks fall within a certain heirarchy of importance. And while crushing it a candy crush might feel good right now, the truth is, we all feel of sense of emptiness, after the initial rush of check something off the list, if the things we checked off aren’t of the highest priority. That’s why it’s so important to rank things on your to do list, in order of importance.

But again, knowing something is important doesn’t mean we will prioritize it, even if we star it, highlight it, and put a post it note on our nose.

I call it the “ugh” factor. “ugh! I have to do these dishes. Ugh! I have to call my high maintenace uncle who’s in memory care (yea, that one….the one who wants to chew your ears off). Ugh! I have to cram for this test”. As you can see, a lot of things with the ugh factor are 12 times ughlier by putting them off, rather than pacing them, and planning ahead. But some tasks are so truly gnarly that even thinking about them causes brain cramp. Clearly, we need all of the good vibes we can get going on to even approach the topic in our minds.

This is why it’s so important to reward yourself, and to make that high priority task as stress free and enjoyable as possible.
So how is that done? Well the first step is in not focusing on the past. If you know you’ve blown it in some area,
stop ruminating about it and instead, plan how to be successful next time.

It’s hard to begin setting goals for the new year when you look at that goal list from last year and think, “Ugh!
I’ve been trying to get this task done for 15 years with zero follow through.” This is why most people don’t write new years resolutions.

But today is a new day, and while that might seem overly optimisitic and naive, the truth is, this is the exact mindset which all innovators took in their quest to succeed.

Edison, who invented the lightbulb, related that every time he made a mistake, he was encourged. He was one step closer to finding the right way. And in case you don’t know, Thomas Edison made thousands of attempts at creating the light bulb before he got it right.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”

Consider today a new day to try something a new way. Today is a new day to try a method that motivates,
relieves stress, and creates follow through. Today, how about writing down every single thing you need to do, and designating a time for it?

5:00
05
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
45
50
55
6:00
10
20
30
40
50
7:00
05
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
45
50
55
8:00
05
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
45
50
55
9:00
05
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
45
50
55
10:00
05
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
45
50
55
11:00
05
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
45
50
55
12:00
1:00
05
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
45
50
55
2:00
15
30
45
3:00
15
30
45
4:00
15
60
45
5:00
6:00
7:00
800
9:00
05
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
45
50
55
1000

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