Why you remain anonymous (roadblocks to posting your photo online)

This is part 3 of a series. I’m a bit of a non conformist, so I’m kind of working backwards here. Check back for more soon!

The hillbilly complex

I could also call this the ugly duckling compex, but the phenomenon which is most common is when people on a bread and butter income think that they must have a top of the line outfit in order to look professional. I’ve heard all of the excuses and I’m getting tired of them, so here they are (along with a rebuttal).

Excuse number one for not posting a picture on line:

“I’m  a private Person”

Yes, dear, I know; but you were bold enough to pose for your driver’s license and you survived. Being camera shy is a poor excuse

“Um (giggle), no you don’t understand…I’m uncomfortable having other’s see me”

Okay, human, I get it. But we do need some photo of you, so how about this…wear a bag over your head and be this famous comic. Seriously, human, we need a photo

(Blush) oh you are the funny one. Seriously though, I can’t do a picture because, well, I’m not attractive

Yes, I agree you are not model material. But don’t you get it? Neither am I, and I have experienced better  traffic when showing my face.

“I have bad teeth”

So scold them, and close your lips

“What if some dangerous person sees my picture”

Let’s hope they buy your product (business is business, and you don’t need to respond to any marriage proposals on your contact form).

Seriously, reader, you are not so ugly or so beautiful that anyone is going to care. There are millions of websites.You WILL get through this….just don’t leave your personal contact information online if you are having a panic attack right now.

“I am truly repulsive looking”

Then I ‘m sure you won’t mind if other homely people are drawn to your product. Please, get over yourself and post some photo

“I am too embarrassed to have other people see my ugly face”

They’d be embarrassed to have you see theirs or refreshed that you showed yours.

Now that’s the ugly duckling version of why people won’t do photos,  but there are also people who think that if they show their photo, they won’t be the kind of person that their readers were hoping to see. And if that’s you, then you need to know that when you show your photo, you automatically draw a whole circle of people who trust you more because now they now know what you look like.  Try it and see!

Barbara Streisand–an example of unconventional beauty

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New Year’s Resolutions Posts

Tell me, reader, why is it that we make impossible New Year’s goals, that we know we will fail at? I think it’s because we get obsessed with goal setting rather than goal reaching. Goal setting is what happens when twenty people say, “So what are YOUR New Year’s resolutions?” and we think, “hmmm, what should I resolve to do” ?

But now, Goal Reaching is different; It works like this…”what do I want to accomplish by the end of this year?” That’s goal reaching.

Now, take that year-end goal, and break it down. Season by season. Month by month. Week by week. Day by day.

Now here’s the deal. If you didn’t come up with some flaky resolution that sounded good, you will take the time to plan this goal out, because it’s what you really want to accomplish (not what sounds good to everyone).

Here are some “Reach your New Year’s Resolutions”  posts from last year which really dive deep into the whole psychology of setting New Years goals that get met.

The Fruitless Act of Beating Yourself Up.

Reader, have you ever begun the day by pouring over everything you forgot to do, failed to do, or failed at doing?
It’s so easy for us to focus on things left undone, or done poorly but the truth is, none of that mindset is helpful.

In psychology, they say you gravitate toward things that give you pleasure. For example, if you are really good at something, or if you really enjoy something, you will focus most of your attention there. I call it your sweet spot
…that place you go to for comfort whether it’s icecream or Facebook.

But your sweet spot isn’t always just a place that makes you feel good. Sometimes it’s a place of accomplishment…
an action that you can easily check off your list. Even if it’s not the most important thing on the list, at least it’s doable, and “done” feels so good. This is why so many people spend their life on easily completed tasks, or video games, because they get an immediate rush of accomplishment–eveb if it’s just scoring on “candy crush”.

And lot’s of time, your sweet spot is is just a place that gives you a sense of fulfillment. There’s nothing wrong with that. But here’s the deal…
if you don’t feel that sense of pleasure, fulfillment or accomplishment, you will most likely avoid that task or duty which is most important.

Most of our tasks fall within a certain heirarchy of importance. And while crushing it a candy crush might feel good right now, the truth is, we all feel of sense of emptiness, after the initial rush of check something off the list, if the things we checked off aren’t of the highest priority. That’s why it’s so important to rank things on your to do list, in order of importance.

But again, knowing something is important doesn’t mean we will prioritize it, even if we star it, highlight it, and put a post it note on our nose.

I call it the “ugh” factor. “ugh! I have to do these dishes. Ugh! I have to call my high maintenace uncle who’s in memory care (yea, that one….the one who wants to chew your ears off). Ugh! I have to cram for this test”. As you can see, a lot of things with the ugh factor are 12 times ughlier by putting them off, rather than pacing them, and planning ahead. But some tasks are so truly gnarly that even thinking about them causes brain cramp. Clearly, we need all of the good vibes we can get going on to even approach the topic in our minds.

This is why it’s so important to reward yourself, and to make that high priority task as stress free and enjoyable as possible.
So how is that done? Well the first step is in not focusing on the past. If you know you’ve blown it in some area,
stop ruminating about it and instead, plan how to be successful next time.

It’s hard to begin setting goals for the new year when you look at that goal list from last year and think, “Ugh!
I’ve been trying to get this task done for 15 years with zero follow through.” This is why most people don’t write new years resolutions.

But today is a new day, and while that might seem overly optimisitic and naive, the truth is, this is the exact mindset which all innovators took in their quest to succeed.

Edison, who invented the lightbulb, related that every time he made a mistake, he was encourged. He was one step closer to finding the right way. And in case you don’t know, Thomas Edison made thousands of attempts at creating the light bulb before he got it right.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”

Consider today a new day to try something a new way. Today is a new day to try a method that motivates,
relieves stress, and creates follow through. Today, how about writing down every single thing you need to do, and designating a time for it?

5:00
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Blogging Basics

Have you ever been on a blog that seemed simply awesome, until you realized, it had no posts? Or maybe the post it did have, read, “This is a blog post. To edit me….” \My favorite is that cheezy tag line that WordPress puts on your title by default “this website is the bees knees”. I don’t know how many websites I’ve seen (including some older ones of mine that are unedited) which look fabulous, but have that “bees’ knees” tagline (howl). It’s so hysterical when you make a great blog with sidebars and java script, only to look at it..REALly look at it…two months later, and find something like this:

I imagine there may be a website that could make a tagline like that work. If you look closely, this clothing website has the tag line, “This Boutique is the Bees Knees”. When I browsed their site, it did actually seem to be the kind of store that worked with that style of tagline.  I thought it was adorable.

The original saying “That’s the bee’s knees” is actually a slang phrase way back when, so I would guess not many people use it any more. I also found out, it is the name of a mixed drink. Whether or not others know this without searching on Google, I have no idea. Still, if that’s not the image you want, you may want to replace it. Obviously, WordPress is hoping that when you see the tagline, you will cringe and change it. Sadly, most blog master don’t notice this when creating their blog.

I can not tell you how many blue chip quality blogs I have seen, with hundreds of viewers, that have this embarrassing gap, so if you just noticed your blog has this issue, take heart.

Perhaps you’re like me; youmay have burnt through blog tutorials that try to show you how to make your blog, dance, rock and shine.

But most of them don’t really show you how to get the basics down so that you have an attractive, organized, professional looking blog. So many of you have real promise in your blog. I can tell you are creative and intelligent, and have designed skills. But just like someone in a gorgeous outfit with their zipper open, you have….well, I have to whisper it because it’s embarrasing (gaps, okay)?   What are friends for, right?

In my e-course, “Blogging Basics” I take you back, back… back…. to the starting line where good blogs begin.  I’m talking about ground zero, from the tagline to the footers and everything in between.

In it, I show you step by step  how to make a blog you can really be proud of, without wondering what you left out.

When you finish this course, I want your mantra to be:

No  Ugly Blogs (and no boring ones either).

Having a blog that is complete, with no awkward gaps is not enough. Your blog needs substance and style. I show you how to create a blog that talks to your readers and speaks their language. Generous screen shots show you how to post great images and how to get your front page to look “just right” while following best practices for web design and navigation.

We do talk about themes and fonts, but the truth is, the fundamentals of a good blog are so much more than great blog design; of course you want to make sure that you have a menu that is easy to navigate, with no embarrassing gaps. And having a nicely designed blog is great as well. Still, even the jazziest interface and graphics on the planet can not compensate for the lack of this one thing

Content.

So what is content? Well, it could be articles, but it could also be eye candy. Like graphics, diagrams, and even videos.  Content doesn’t just have to inform. It can also entertain. And inspire. Content is just anything that your site “contains”.  It’s the content of your website. Which is not to say that you shouldn’t have a lot of meaty articles on your blog. If you dread writing, love writing, or want to know more about the mechanics of great writing, I break it all down for you step by step so you aren’t shooting in the dark when you write. You’ll learn all about connecting with your reader and keeping them engaged, and how to write fresh, meaty content EVERY DAY (really!) without getting burnt out.  Even if you detest writing, or don’t think you can, I’ve got you covered

In “Blogging Basics”, I show you how to prevent embarrassing gaps, design your website head to toe, and yes, even how to write compelling, sharp content.

But this is not some offer where you whip out your credit card, copy my download, and cancel your order. Nope, we’re not doing that game. This is good, good stuff, and I now it.

So how can you access it? I send you a link once you’re money order is processed.

The cost? $150.

Send money order to:

Susan Melin

PO Box 295

Independence, MO. 64050

How to get off the wheel of internet marketing

“When you’re done with your next product launch, can we have a nibble together?”

Reader, do you ever get the feeling that you are doing the same thing, but not seeing results? There’s  a story of a man who was in a prison camp, and he kept turning a crank that was attached to the wall. His captors told him that it was his job to grind wheat, and that if he did it long enough and hard enough, he’d eventually earn his release. After the war, his emancipation came. His rescuers took him to the other side of the cell and there he saw it….the crank had NOTHING attached to it. His whole time in captivity, all of his labor was for nothing. Nothing! The man was very disheartened to realize that all of his labor had been in vain. But had it? Do you think that having something to do helped him to cope? I do. And a lot of you are like that too. You spend hours working on dead end tasks, checking likes, and gaining followers, and it feels good. But at the end of the day, you need to ask yourself: What’s on the other side? All internet marketers need to ask themselves this question: Is what I’m doing making me any money. Will it eventually be making money And if so, when. You desperately need the answers to these question. Otherwise, you are turning a dead crank.