Last Thursday, we talked about the Passive aggressive person and why they are the way they are.
Today, we are going to discuss what you can actually do to help diffuse their manner of communication.
As I told you in Thursday’s post, a passive aggressive person has great difficulty in expressing their true feelings, opinions, and emotions if they think that expressing it would lead to your liking them less.
It is of tantamount importance to them to be perceived of as nice and likable. So much so that they would rather suppress their feelings to the point of misery, rather than have you not be super happy with them and think they are the greatest.
So you can understand just how frustrated they are. And, even resentful.
If you find that your friend, family member or co worker is silently sabotaging you, or, obstructing your progress, you may want to ask them if there is something that they are upset about.
Now I can tell you right now, that most of the time, they will sweetly smile and say “no, nothing’. And the truth is, it is probably going to take some time before they truly feel safe enough to share any discontent that they have with you. The key to all of this is to get them to trust you. You need to make them feel safe in sharing what is bothering them. Profusely assure them that you will feel so much more comfortable if they tell you when something is bothering them. And if you are very sure that they are smoldering inside over something you did, then tell them! Candidly tell them that you can feel the tension, even though they aren’t saying anything, and then let them know how unhappy that makes you.
Tell them that you will like them better if they are open and transparent, and that you won’t like them as much if they hide and deny. Yes, you need to point blank tell them this.
Are you living with, working with, or dealing with a passive aggressive person right now? I would love to hear your comments.